Storm

      ​Just as the ocean, she waited until the right time to break down and unleash the storm within. She tried her hardest to time her emotional cleansing with the occasional coastal storm the ocean would let free. As the dark and calm began to set in the overcast, she could feel the hurricane in her soul begin to spin. Wind howls at the anticipation and the rain falls to the earth slow at first, then gaining speed and force. With each strike of lightening her heart pulsates harder and harder. The thunder courses through her body, making everything she has bottled up, break and burst through the barricade she has built. The storm has now reached full rage both inside and out. 

    Tears spill over the rims of her reddened eyelids as the rain batters the window panes. She let the noise of the storm encase her as she stepped out the door into the battlefield. The ocean roars as she sprints to the waters’ edge. On the crest of the dune she gazes into the heart of the havoc seeing rage in all of its glory. 

     Just as soon as the storm had come it quickly had stopped. It let whatever else it had left fall in small drops kissing her skin as she made her way to the sand. Her tears began to stop as the rain let up. With the storm, it brought a whole new world. Letting herself break down and become new again mimicked the effects the storm had on the coast. She never let herself fall to the trials and tribulations that were thrown at her, but when she finally did, she experienced it in the most tantalizing way possible, creating a better impact. She smiled as a beautiful array of colors, composed as a rainbow, stretched itself across the blue sky.

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Once Was.

        On the edge of the worn dock she let her toes glide along the glass-like water causing it to swirl and dance under her touch. Quietly she let the printed five digit number stare back at her. With a flip of her hair, she scoffed at the outrageous amount of money that preceded her name. A mere week before she would have let tears shed at the sight of this account, but now she smiles in ridicule of the big name bank. She stumbled upon the chance of a life time while visiting the beautiful Outer Banks.

       An agent who once had slicked hair and a dapper wardrobe, resided in the quiet area where she came to relax and recharge. He was a man of great power at one time, power that masked something of a benevolent weasel. For awhile he was content with his slimy uprising in the book market. He hid his disgust for himself with the piles of money he squandered from aspiring writers. One day he woke with his guilt gnawing at his conscience, finally breaking through the nasty exterior to a softer side that was lined with honesty. His overwhelming internal  up-rise caused him to up and run to the Atlantic coast to uproot the man he has buried deep inside.

      He walked the waters edge every morning to revel in the simplicity of the calming ocean waves. He never seemed to notice the tourists who have unfortunately felt the sun’s wrath, but today one caught his eye. She was young, early twenties, with sunkissed hair and a bronze tone all over her skin. Sitting in the sand, she pounded the keys of a keyboard that preceded her about three decades. Aged and rusted here and there, the typewriter methodically printed what came from the kaleidoscope of colors in her mind. Curiosity pushed him to her side.

       They spoke casually about the work she had just ground out. Politely he inquired to see the masterpiece she had created. Even with his past, he had an eye for good writing. What his eyes came across now was something of pure excellence. With continued conversation he offered her a deal.

     He knew he wanted to get back into the world of writing, but in a way that is accepted by society’s standards. She knew she wanted to get into the same world but she lacked the inside know how that he possessed. With her God given talent and his connections they  could make each other’s aspirations a reality.

      So now on the worn dock, some short months after their meeting, she was proudly able to let New York Times Best-selling Author embellish her now impressive resume. She let the salt air sweep through her hair causing it to tickle the edges of her sun kissed face. Reminiscing on what her life was before she began to remember how her life once was.

Ocean Raised

My mother, what a woman. She built me a solid foundation, one only God could diminish.  She raised me in a sense that I think all mothers should. She raised me just as God raised the ocean. She has shown me how to be gentle and powerful all in the same manner. Just as God has shown the waves to be calming, yet strong, bringing serenity to those who are worn and strength to those who are weak. Just as the ocean, I too feel the need to bring people to a place of peace, a place to feel safe and at home. The ocean mirrors my sense of anger and despair by unleashing it’s fury all in one powerful storm. But soon the lightening ceases and the rain let’s up, the ocean has cleansed itself, ridding what it has bottled up.

She has given me the ability to feel deeply about my beliefs, just as the ocean portrays things in a way to give a deeper meaning for life. Like the ocean, my mother has told me to show my true beauty through every action I take. God has shown my mother in each and every way possible to raise me as he has raised the ocean. No one truly understands my connection to the salty waters, only the the lucky ones. I am proud to say I was and will forever be ocean raised.

Battered and Broken.

Wondering if she would even recognize the person that would stare back at her along the waves edge, she up and ran to see for herself. Burying the person she once was, was an easy task, at first. She let herself become what society made her to be. She smiled less, ate less, and even slept less all to become the best that she could be. She hid her simplistic ways to accomplish a fast paced, cut-throat lifestyle, that she thought she had wanted. Now, cruising down the desolate interstate, she shook her head at her shallow choices in life. As she made it to where the ocean met the land, she cracked a crooked smile at the way the sand pushed out from the sides of her pasty feet.

When she reached the waters edge, she became hesitant to look at her reflection. When the seal on her eyes finally cracked, she saw a woman of small, yet strong stature, staring back at her. This young woman she saw before her resembled someone who had been chewed up and spat out by life’s cruel antics. She could see a woman of whole proportion and yet she felt as if only half of herself were truly there. Anger and disappointment caused a single tear to well up and spill of the rim of her eye. As she wiped the salty tear away, she vowed she would become the person she was meant to be in this world, without the influence of anyone or anything.

Beauty

Harnessing all the beauty this world has to offer maybe be a challenge. But I am more than willing to take on that challenge. There may be a lot of bad that is thrown at us, but that bad always seems to be laced with a little good.

How can you not look at all the wreckage and carnage without hoping for something better to come of it? What about the miraculous scenery the earth bestows upon us? When you look into the ocean, do you not feel like there is something bigger out there? What about the colors in the sky as day time begins to rest? Don’t they make you see the world in a different view? I want to see all that is out there. Whether on home or foreign soil, I want to capture every little bit of the good and hold onto it forever. I feel too deeply about life to just let the negativity squander my views. It may not be easy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. I hope I can gaze upon very grain of sand, make a wish on every dandelion in my path, and feel all of God’s power with every storm.

Running with the Sun.

Her bronzed toes dug deeper and deeper into the white sand. She exhaled stress, highlighted with worry, into the salty air. The breeze carried her trials and tribulations and threw them to the sky. She reminisced on this past year, making her thankful for the person she left behind in her hometown. She came to the islands to find the person she had lost along the grueling adventure through college.

High school was a rushed, worried time that pushed her to be the best that society wanted to make her. When she graduated high school hopes of becoming a doctor were held dear to her heart. Then the real problem came, college. She spent hours, days, weeks, and years trying to become all that she could be in the medical field. She worried so much about who she was going to become, that she forgot who she really was. She forgot the simple fact of taking time for herself, she forgot about enjoying the simple things in life. She pushed herself to a new breaking point each and everyday to get MD after her name. Most people would call it dedication, she now called it insanity.

Living a fast paced, pushed to your limit, go until you break lifestyle was something she lied herself into enjoying, but deep down a piece of her broke. Now she lays in the sunlight, letting it warm her skin, trying to pick up the pieces she chiseled away and put herself back to someone she would finally recognize in the mirror. The sun had began to set low in the blue sky, causing hues of crimsons, peaches, and magentas to swirl together with the clouds. She turned her head from side to side only to see the island come to life with the last ray of sun. In that moment she knew she has made the right decision to up and run with the sun.

Underwater Dive.

I never knew just how beautiful things were under the water, until today. I decided to appease my inner tourist and go for the deal the professional diver had to offer. The boat cut the waves like a knife, but they would retort back and buck the bow causing a powerful jolt. Finally the diver was satisfied in our whereabouts and pulled the boat perpendicular to this bony looking structure poking it’s way through the Ocean’s surface.

With our gear securely tied and plastered to our bodies we took the plunge. I could feel the coolness of the water encase my body. I delayed letting my eyelids open, for fear of landing in on a family of sharks. Once they slowly broke their tight seal and crept open, I found myself in a world full of a beautiful array of colors. Not even a rainbow over a colorful sunset could hold a candle to the view before me. Mesmerized in the beauty I failed to notice all the little creatures that had began to find me interesting. Playful seahorses swam circles around me trying to tempt my inner child, clown fish swam in and out of the anemones playing peek a boo, and small schools of topically colored fish played tag, in and out of the playhouse the coral reef had to offer. I mimicked the fish and swam through, around, over, and under the structure of the coral reef twirling in amazement.

This place was something of pure bliss, something that the world had left untouched allowing it’s natural beauty to shine through. Gazing all around a sense of purpose washed over me, leaving me feeling satisfied with my life. There wasn’t a better way to see the world’s colors than the way I had experienced. This once-in-a-lifetime-chance left me with the addiction to live life to the fullest and explore all the treasures this world has to offer.

Unity.

She strolled along the white sand; Mesmerized by the waves’ soft touch. With each step she pushed the gritty ground until the clumps toppled around her toes. The pier stood mangled and jagged in the salty mist. The clouds that welcomed themselves two days prior, have realized their worn-out welcome. Magenta slathered, fluffy clouds have proudly taken their place. The sun tore through the fluff, emanating warmth over her bronzed skin. She tilted her head in welcome of the rays. Her long sun-kissed hair cascaded over her shoulders, stretching down her back. She brought her eyes  to a slow opening until she shot her focus back to the weathered structure down the beach.

She let her heart pick up speed, pounding through her ribs, and raising her shirt with each pulsation. Without consciousness her legs moved more swiftly in pace until she was bolting down the stretch of land. The mist began to clear with each stride. The adrenaline lifted as the salt-weathered, wooden beams came in closer proximity. The waves pounded the beams in attempt to aggravate their stance. Despite the power against them, the proud beams stood tall.

She wrapped herself around a beam that was only kissed by the waves. Her breathing mimicked the rhythm  of the ocean. In the tranquil wake, her eyes slowly shut. The pulsation of the waves emanated up the beam. Her heartbeat became internally audible. With each break along the shore the two pulsations began to come together as one. She realized her heartbeat was in tune with the oceans’.

Wave Therapy.

Sometimes you can paint on the most convincing smile and still not be able to hide the pain. Even the waves can tell the truth in your eyes.

The rain stings in a cold manner, trying to fight numbness bestowed upon you. The gulls shriek to wake your mind from the overthought stupor. This place knows you better than you know yourself. This place knows your pain. It knows you need to reflect and heal, so it decides to mimic your emotions.

Waves begin to pound the shore. Clouds overcast the once-blue sky. Winds begin to howl and wail. Palm trees sway violently and branches crack and break under the force. Still, you sit in the sand with your arms wrapped around your legs, curled up like a crab in its’ shell. You duck your head in-between your arms, letting the storm take you over further. The ocean gives you more; giving you what you have been needing.

The salt in the air begins to thicken, almost suffocating. The mist becomes blinding. Still, you sit curled, letting yourself become battered physically. Finally the ocean gives its’ all. The sand breaks down beneath you, slowly shifting under the pounding of the waves. The waves begin to crash closer and closer. You know they’re closing in. You feel their presence creeping and crashing closer and closer. But still you sit there motionless.

Now is the time for extreme measures, the ocean won’t allow anymore. All of its’ force is packed into this last wave. The height, depth, and power are immeasurable. You know that this one is coming. You know the ocean will only allow you to sulk so much, and this time you’ve pushed its’ and your own limits.

This wave will encapsulate you, swallowing you whole, ridding you of this earth. Just as it heightens over your body, you burst upright with trembling fists clenched. In return the wave falls to the Earth as a gentle rain, soaking you further. As your chest rises and falls more rhythmically, the waves begin to lessen in power. The winds subside and the color is brought back to the sky. Your body is left exasperated causing you to fall gently to the damp sand. The darkness begins to take over your eyelids until you drift to sleep.

Your eyes slowly crack open, only to be surprised by a cool, colorful sky.The tradewinds gently wisp through your hair. Rejuvenation cascades over your body.The ocean used God’s privilege in itself to bless you with a peaceful, tranquil new dawn.

Ocean Perspective.

People from all walks of life come to me. Some run, some stumble, and some blissfully stroll the edge of me. I can tell you which ones are meant to be here, which ones have never left here, and which ones have never even wanted to come here. Everyday I create a scene, in the eyes of God, that would leave a pessimist feeling warm inside and lead an atheist to redemption.

I offer an oasis to some and an anchor to others, both literal and figurative. I’ve realized over my lifespan that for some I offer more than just a place to surf or swim, but a place to heal. I offer a place to find yourself again and I let you find new life though God. Not one person views myself the same as another. I find that I can describe that aspect inspiring and yet troubling all in the same breath. No matter what I am to some I am different to others. I scare some, encourage some, stifle some, and uplift some. I never do the same thing for one person as I do for another, and I’m content with that. I appreciate the career God has laid out for me and I never want to be anything more than who I am, the Ocean.